U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
