Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize