I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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