omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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