Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
