I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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