am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
