No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
