This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
