youre lurking in front of me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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