Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
