yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
