? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
