I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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