he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
