Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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