you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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