just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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