Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
