This girl is more easily done than said...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize