Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
