Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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