went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
