i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
