ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
