11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
