Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize