whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
