so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
