I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
