i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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