I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
