I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
