Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
