You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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