I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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