i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i will never coherently bang her
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize