Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize