I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
