highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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