**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
