Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
