Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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