That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
