yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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