I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
