if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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