What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize