i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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