Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
