I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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