Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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