Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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