you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
