Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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