Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize