you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
