She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
