What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize