She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
True college students do jello shots in the library
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
