Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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