scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His hands were made for my vagina.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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