'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My feet surprised me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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