turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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