Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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