All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
