Where is the hickey?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
