Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
