I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
PANTIES FOUND
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